Give yourself one exo-skeletal attachment for every one of these that applies to you:
1) Weird bits of alien hardware pop out of your body during sex, or when you're in an uncomfortably crowded bus or train.
2) You sometimes catch yourself referring to your projects at work as "conquest modules," and your boss as your "overlord leader."
3) You sometimes see a dot-matrix text display scrolling in front of your eyes, consisting almost entirely of synonyms for "radical nephrectomy," followed by "(Y/N)".
4) This body, while serviceable and even capable of experiencing satisfactory levels of pleasure on occasion (double-fudge brownies), is not your real body, which you have a distinct sense should weigh several hundred pounds more and have many more spikes and sensory organs.
5) Your allergies are rare and inexplicable, and your doctor (whom the scrolling eye-text has dubbed "Expendable Meat-Polyp #237") has advised you to avoid wheat, dairy, kale and seafood. And hair.
6) The man at the corner grocery store keeps staring at your neck while informing you that all is nearly in readiness. And asking if you've decided which of the humanimals you will keep as a pet afterwards.
7) You have strange blackouts, periods of a few minutes or a few hours during which you can remember nothing. They usually end with you covered in blood and naked except for a "TRENTON IS FOR UNDERACHIEVERS" T-shirt. You can never remember having been to Trenton, but you own many of these T-shirts.
8) Whenever you enjoy a book, movie or piece of music, you find yourself tagging it for preservation.
9) You work in the insurance industry, and understand actuarial tables.
10) Your basement is full of cages containing the last survivors of all the planets you've wiped out before this one, and occasionally you go down there to taunt them or make them do tricks for you.
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