Monday, May 10, 2010

Review: Aliens in the Attic

Hey, remember everything I might have said negative about UP? I take it all back. I just watched Aliens In the Attic. Right off I would like to know if anyone responsible for this movie is ashamed? Or maybe embarrassed?

First, let's get the people responsible list first:

Aliens in the Attic
Directed by John Schultz
Written by Mark Burton Adam F. Goldberg
Starring Carter Jenkins Ashley Tisdale Austin Butler Robert Hoffman Kevin Nealon Doris Roberts Tim Meadows

The plot (if you can call it that) revolves around four small aliens who infest the attic of a Victorian style country home, bent of uncovering a machine buried beneath the floor of the cellar which due to it's nature will aide the incoming invasion fleet.

The only real person of note is Doris Roberts who is almost completely wasted in this film. Her character Nana under the influence of alien remote controls thinks she is blacking out and having senior moments...oh high-laire-ous!

Add in 2 scheming twins, a lecherous older boy-friend and an apparent air head blond sister cookie cutter parents and a high school nerd. For aliens, 1 ultra by the book, 2 that couldn't really care and one who only wants to have fun (Third Rock anyone...?)

Umm take uncle buck, Harry Potter and any Disney kid movie, strip away anything of plot value, break up in manageable sections, mix randomly Mix in gratuitous CGI instead of any real acting and you have one of the poorest excuses for a movie I have seen for years. Doris is totally under utilized or being used to denigrate her age group. "oh I am blacking out and waking in strange places!" senior moments! har har oh make her have a stroke! Oh that would be soooooooo funny! Oh and paint balls to the crotch, railing to the nads and a half dozen other whacks to the family about grade school humor....someone needs a time out for this travesty.

Total by the numbers mindless movie making that all but went straight to disk where it was obvious that it was a major embarrassment due to the total and I mean TOTAL lack of comments, commentaries, features, extras, deleted scenes NOTHING and on Blue Ray that meant they wasted gobs of space and time so they all abandoned this movie as soon as it was in the can.

Conclusions? What can you say good about a movie that telegraphs it's intentions from the opening scenes?! Worse than the fantastic Four part 2 ! maybe a 3?4 if I am feeling generous and I aint. Don't bother renting this unless you have some 4 year olds needing distraction. Period....

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