Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Speed Racer - Just Too Gay?

Wow, everyone is bustin on Speed Racer! Not to be left out, IO9 lands some heavy body blows on the CGI blingtastica event. Speed Racer is an English adaptation of the Japanese anime Mach GoGoGo which centered on automobile racing. The big screen version has played it straight according to the original series, but many now speculate if that was the only in the whole process that was! Why is Speed bombing so bad? Analysts have speculated that Speed Racer's problem might have been caused by a boring and confusing plot, or early negative reviews. But IO9 might know the real reason. Speed Racer is freaking people out because it's just too gay.

Here are a couple of high points from the article:

Most of the colors in Speed Racer are sparkly pastels, What is this, Queer Eye for the action hero?

Monkeys are gay.

Several bad guys are giant hairy men dressed in furs and Viking helmets Some of them might even have been centerfolds in Bear magazine.

Speed loves his mother and is super-nice to his girlfriend. Obviously a homo! A true straight dude would be like Iron Man, obsessing over his dead dad and abusing every woman in his life.

And the rant goes on...Click for the complete rant on IO9


patrick said...

The Wachowski bros certainly put a lot of effort into making Speed Racer... the movie overall looked and felt like a cross between anime, a kaleidoscope, that Flintstones movie, a video game and the Dukes of Hazard

Paul said...

The thing is, effort is one thing, thought is another. Patrick, you very well might be right, But a lot of effort is like pulling nails with a napkin, the smart move would be to get a hammer.