Monday, January 12, 2015

Do You Need A Sign? Here are Eight People That Certainly Do!

 I know.....doesn't really meet the BMU criteria, however like the Darwins, sometimes you just need a good laugh to brighten your day.
With that in mind, here are eight individuals that need a sign around their necks proclaiming them idiotic, deserving extra care when interacting with them!

I know that I have posted some of these on other occasions, but this is still a great and entertaining list in it's own rite. 

I want to thank Carole for sending in the list via email.

Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing  a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman  called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be  no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at  the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter  some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring  her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing  employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly  after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard  helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing  in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the  raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't  get it wet; the paint might run.

Number Three  Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked  into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag."; While  standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry  that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he  reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of  America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo  Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the  Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his  spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the  harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was  written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would  either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back  to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man  said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was  waiting in line back at Bank of America .

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably  couldn't read it anyway.

Number Four  Idiot
A motorist was  unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using  radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for  $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police  department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he  received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this  time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy ... But you still  get a sign.

Number Five  Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and  demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the  cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the  counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but  the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21.";  The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him  because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's  license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over  and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the  bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.  The cashier promptly called the police and gave  the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They  arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a  sign.

Idiot Number Six
A pair  of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving  revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!";
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot  him.

This guy doesn't  even deserve a sign.

Idiot Number  Seven
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.  He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store  window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved  it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him  unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.   The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here's your sign.

Idiot Number  Eight

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new  neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the  removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road..  The  reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here ! I  don't  think this is a good place for them to be crossing  anymore.";
Take the sign PLEASE!

Beware, these people are out there among us.  Willing to do themselves and possibly us bodily harm.


btonym said...

I am a firm believer in the "Sign". Believe it, or not, where I currently reside (The Hub of the Silicon Valley) you could hand out a truckload of signs on any given day just walking through the downtown area. I've gotten to where my mind just automatically superimposes the signs where necessary.

Beam Me Up said...

OMG btonym! Warn me before you do something like that again! I think I aspirated half my coffee!

A truck load of signs and in the very bastion of high tech no less!

The horror