Friday, January 09, 2015

6 Reasons Why You'd Actually Hate Hoverboards

If hoverboards really existed, would you buy one, would you actually even care? Here's 6 reasons why you almost certainly wouldn't:

 6 ) You would be “that guy”

Nuff said. You would always and forever known as “that guy with the hoverboard”

5) They would be super glitchy for the first few generation

All you have to do is remember the constant-glitchyness of any other forms of technology. For example, Microsoft windows is the most popular operating systems, but you are a brave person to adopt it in it's first iteration.

 4) They Would be Ridiculously Expensive

I would love to have a Jet Skis. What is stopping me? They're $15,000! Jet Skis (and most high end technology) Who among us really believes that hoverboards would be treated like video game machines? $199, not bloody likely. Look at what big ticket home electronics went for....One of the first-generation hdtvs for example. When they came out you had to be fabulously weathy or take a second mortgage on the house.

 3) You Are Injured Almost Immediately  

Think about all the forays into anything that slid or rolled and - how many times you completely horribly wipe out when learning any of these things. Now imagine those selfsame wipeouts are occurring in the air with the outcome is most likely a face plant into concrete or pavement. Now you and I both know that your healing speed is glacially slow. Lets just bank on the knowledge that the young say “I can! You would say, I can ….break a hip!

 2) 13 Year Old Kids Would Instantly Be Better Than You Ever Will Be

You know every time a new technological device comes out, you understand it a little less each time? Kids though totally understand why it's such a big deal, even. You on the other hand give up and then make fun of the 'board and those that use them. Think about the figure you would cut! You flailing about while moving as slowly as possible. While teens are zooming past you and doing flips and crap.

1) You Wouldn't Frackin Use It!

To all the people constantly declaring "where's my hoverboard???" – First off, Skateboards have been around forever. The real question is, unless do you have a professional interest, can you say with a straight face that you lust skateboard/hoverboard. I suspect the real truth is you don't even own a skateboard. Soooooo a technological break through allowing the board to float 2 inches off the ground and you get all hot and bother?!

Check out the original College Humor article HERE


Mebbles said...

Exactly! I couldn't agree more! lol

Like you said, most people would just injure themselves and/or not use it.

Beam Me Up said...

When I first read the original, I so identified with the author's conclusion