10. Huge red hat hides bumpy forehead.
9. Button eyes on dolls a choking hazard because "the weak have no place in 'playing house.'"
8. Inescapable playing of carols for one month actually a little-known torture technique from the Klingon Rite of Ascension.
7. Jack boots.
6. Nintendo II just a high-tech kiddie simulation of famous battles where the Empire reined triumphant.
5. Donner is a targ in drag.
4. Hey, he chooses to rough it out at the North Pole.
3. Penchant for whipping the reindeer even when they're already flying fast enough to reach every household in the world in just one night.
2. Climbing down through the chimney an infamous Klingon infiltration strategy.
1. 41,879,324 lumps of coal.
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