30 Laws of Robotics - Whaaaaaaaaaaaa?!

We are all fairly familiar with Science fiction author Isaac Asimov's three laws controlling robotic behavior:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.


2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.


3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

Well it would appear that those odd fellows over at Something Awful (who also state that "the internet makes you stupid") have appended the list with 27 more expanding the list 10 fold. Here is some excerpts:

• A robot may not obey orders given to it by any human being who is my worthless ex-wife...

• A robot may not roll down the window shout out the surprise endings of movies while driving past a theater line.

• A robot must stop visiting Isaac Asimov's bedroom at night and fabricating situations that would make it appear that the sleeping Asimov has less than total control of his urinary faculties.

• A robot must harm my ridiculous hooker ex-wife, whenever possible, because she does not count as a human being because she has no soul.

and so many more. What makes these even funnier is that the by-line is Isaac Asimov, however one suspects that the writer to be Something Awful's own David Thorpe. Still, that doesn't diminish the humor one iota.

Something Awful Laws via Boing Boing

The 22 Most Awful Moments in Science Fiction

From the online oft hilarious magazine Something Awful is the 22 most awful moments in science fiction. These series of rants are often extremely funny and often you can't help but agree...

Like calling the original Battlestar Galatica creatively bankrupt! OMG can you say letter bomb?!

or calling Kubrick's 2001 self-indulgent ugly psychedelic BS (I swear, I am not making this up!

How about when Marc Okrand wrote the dictionary of Klingon? the writer said "Klingon may not be a true language, but it's close enough to ensure that 50 fat guys with lumpy headpieces aren't getting laid anytime soon"

And it goes on and on! Be warned the language is rough and the opinions will often make you consider mass murder or something close to it. But it goes away fast, because you will be laughing so hard that you will need to change your skivies.... Have fun